Triple Thai Hot

I feel kind of silly, posting about food again -- this isn't a food blog -- but so be it. It's a funny story, anyway.

So my totally fab friend Kate was in town for the weekend, and we decided to have an early Saturday lunch at one of our local Thai restaurants. I ordered the vegetarian version of Thai Basil and (not for the first time) had to reassure the waitress that yes, I really really really wanted it Thai hot. As a very fair-skinned person, I'm not unfamiliar with having to convince waitstaff that I'm certain about wanting a high spice level, but that almost never happens in southern New Mexico. Out here, spice is a given. But anyway, this lady wanted reassurance; I gave it; I thought that was it.

But no. Kate piped up. "She wants it crazy hot! That's what she likes! Trust me!"

The waitress paused. "You want double Thai hot? Triple?"

I was in ecstasy at the very concept. "You do triple? Yes, please! That!"

And so it went, and eventually they wanted me to go to the kitchen to reassure the chef himself. Which I did, and then they took a picture of me eating (heavenly -- the food, not the picture), and another picture of me and the chef.

Is there a moral to this story? Wait -- you thought I dealt in fucking morals? No. The point is -- you never know you can get triple Thai hot unless you ask. Thank you, Kate. Thank you, Thai Delight. Bring on the chiles!

Kale Crisps

While we're sharing recipes, here's one I just tried that is really surprisingly good. It requires kale, olive oil, and salt. Break up kale into bite sized pieces. Wash, dry. On a cookie sheet, drizzle kale with olive oil and sprinkle with salt. Bake in oven at 350 degrees for 10 - 15 minutes. Super crispy yummy yum yum!! And of course super healthy, vegan, gluten free too!

Crazy Soup

No, not my brain, silly. It's another scorching summer day in southern New Mexico, so I decided to get cooking out of the way early, before my kitchen hits ninety degrees (one of the swamp coolers is out, but the pool is finally up and running, WOO HOO). I made a variation of one of my favorite soups. I'm a soup goddess -- I cook a lot, mostly vegan, but soups are where my creativity really comes out, and most of what I make is wholly invented from my own perfervid brain.

For this soup, which is kind of Asian and kind of southern and has no name, I start by cubing a block of extra firm tofu and stir-frying it in canola oil, Sriracha, and soy sauce. When the tofu starts to brown, I add a chopped white onion, the chopped stalks of a bunch of red Swiss chard, and some crushed red pepper. When this mixture starts to smell really good, I add water, the torn Swiss chard leaves, a bunch of chopped carrots, some minced jalapeno, a couple vegetarian bouillon cubes, cover it, and let it simmer for fifteen or twenty minutes. I serve it over a mix of brown and wild rice, with lots of extra Sriracha.

According to an online recipe calculator, this soup is incredibly fucking healthy. More importantly, it tastes great. I like to blow my mind with hot sauce, but I also appreciate the deep flavor of the Swiss chard, or any other type of greens. People tend to think of greens as a southern food, but I grew up with all types of greens in the northeast, and I crave them. It pisses me off that you rarely see a greens recipe that calls for any use of the stalks; they're usually discarded. I love their texture and flavor, and never throw them away.

So try my soup. And don't leave out the Sriracha and jalapenos, you pussies.

New Zealand Sangria

Yeah, I haven't posted in forever. Expecting any commentary on that? Fuck you.

Haha.

Last night was the MLB All Star Game. I watched with the BF and a good friend. We drank New Zealand Sangria with some added vodka (does that explain my fuzzy head this morning? Why yes, it does). It wasn't a great game, and the AL lost, but it was a really fun night. New Mexico, like much of the southwest and deep south, has been in terrible drought conditions for a while now, and we all cheered as the thunderstorms moved in. Terrifying, persistent lightning rent the sky and lit the thirsty desert; rain fell off and on for several hours. My hair curled up a couple inches shorter and got correspondingly wider and higher. It was fucking awesome.

I just got back from Maine, an earlier trip than usual, and while I'm happy to have gone, I'm also glad to be here during monsoon season for a change. There is nothing like rain in the desert, the cool wet wind when days have been over a hundred degrees and heated like an oven, the scent of creosote suddenly permeating everything. I scream with pleasure for nights like that.

So. Scattered. But I'm back.