Saturday Night at Smitty's, part 12

I’d still have a job if it weren’t for those goddamn environmentalists. Fucking tree-hugging hippie shits. Aint I part of the environment? What about me and my family? I worked at that mill for thirty some-odd years, ever since I graduated from high school, and I expected to retire with a big fat pension. But then they go and claim bankruptcy and leave us poor working class Joes to fend for ourselves.


I was planning my retirement, and now I have to go looking for another job. I know those environmentalist were behind it, with all their protesting against the new logging roads. Company couldn’t survive if it weren’t allowed to cut down more trees. There’s plenty of fucking trees out there. Plus with those new roads we could enjoy the great outdoors even better on our snowmobiles and ATVs.

I swear there’s more of them people around here these days, driving their little rice-burners, opening up foofy little coffee shops. Complaining about our way of living. Aint this America? If they don’t like it they should go move to some other country.

So yeah, me and my buddies had our eyes on those folks and were just lookin’ for any excuse to take out our frustrations on their socialist-environmentalist asses. Looked like a bunch of pussies over in that booth, hell they were probably faggots too. I was starin’ at ‘em, givin’ em the old get-the-fuck-out-of-town eye, and I notice that two of them are actually women. It took me that long to notice. Musta been a couple a butch dykes, short hair and leather jackets. They looked pretty tough though.

I knew they could see me but they were tryin’ to ignore us, till I walked by em and knocked their drinks across the table. Skinny guy stands up and says, “you got a problem buddy?” and I says, “yeah, you.” It was loud in there but I thought I heard other people yellin,’ thought they were cheering me on, so I push the little faggot right across the table. One of the dykes comes up behind me and jumps on my back, trying to choke me, and the guy on the table is kicking at me, so I start punching him. My buddies jumped in and the whole place just turned into a cluster fuck of fists and feet and elbows, blood and beer.