At the funeral, 3

This robe itches. And it's hot. It's not fair Mom signed me up for this without asking. There's a game on at three and I know I'm gonna miss the first quarter, plus I lost all my practice time getting here so early. I didn't do anything, and she knows it. Matthew ought to be the one stuck swinging this stupid ball. The smoke is killing me. Father Blackwell calls it incense and there's some stupid special recipe he uses but it smells like horse crap to me, especially when it's getting all up in my nose. I'm gonna smell like this all day and if I take a shower Dee'll just make fun of me and tell everyone I'm jacking off in the bathroom. She's such a bitch.

What's the big deal about the body, anyway? He said they did the vigil last night, it's not like they haven't all seen her laid out already. It's creepy having the coffin open anyway. Not as bad as Grandma, but still weird. At least it doesn't smell like anything. Maybe that's what the incense was for to begin with, before they started with the chemicals and stuff – maybe it smelled so bad no one noticed how nasty the rotten body was.

The altar, finally, I swear it's like walking down the aisle took a freaking hour. Crap. How many times am I supposed to swing this thing? Is he really paying attention? Hell yes, of course he is. At least I didn't have to dress him this time. Nate says he smells like old sweaty onions. Barf. OK, it's never more than four passes in front of the altar, so I'll stop at three and just hope it's not too far off.

Wow. This place is packed. I've never seen this many people here, except at Christmas. Aw, man, he's doing the mass in Latin, I hate it when they do that. I can't even keep track of what he's saying when it's in English. Please God let this be over soon. Matthew was right, I should have worn kneepads if I'm gonna be kneeling for this long. He said they only give deacons and old people the padded kneelers. So of course Father Blackwell gets one.

I can still feel it in my knuckes when he grabbed my hands. Swear to God I thought he was going to break my fingers. And I didn't do anything, all I wanted was to use the piano in the music room, Father McKinney said I could.

What's he saying now? Damn, I lost track. And he's looking at me like I'm supposed to know what I'm doing. I am so screwed.