My man Brody here and me were just cruisin’ up the coast after hittin’ some sweet waves, headed toward Humbolt, man, when we saw this old honky tonk and thought we’d step in for a cold one and a little “cultural experience.” (laughs) Yeah man, yeah, like we totally got more than we bargained for. I can’t wait to tell the guys this one.
Oh right, what happened. There was this chick playin’ pool with this skinny old dude, cigarette hangin’ out of his mouth, lookin’ like he’s about to keel over from emphysema.
Dude, she WAS hot. In like, a 80s video kinda way. You could see her whale tail sticking out over the top of her skirt, right below her tramp stamp so you KNOW there wasn’t much underneath there. Man, I wasn’t the only one ready to ride that wave, you know what I mean man? (high-fives his buddy)
Bra here goes up to the bar for a coupla brewskis while I’m enjoying the show. He starts yelling to me but I can’t hear him over the jukebox playin’ country music and all the people talking – man it was a riot in there already, even before the whole brewhaha went down. So I finally figure out he wants to know if I want Bud or Coors and when I turn back around, the skinny old dude’s hittin some freakin’ burly-ass logger over the head with his pool cue. Chaos ensues (laughs, high-fives Brody). Dude! Un-freakin-believable.
Me and Brody, we got this communication thing man, we don’t even need to use words when things get gnarly, like out on the big waves dude, we just signal each other and down we go, movin’ toward the back of the bar to, like, relative safety, man. Then the bartender pulls out a shotgun from under the bar and one shot cleared the whole place out. Cultural fucking experience, man.
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